– the subtle relationship between disciplinarians and the disciplined

I am lucky enough to have had many more regular spanking experiences in the last two years than previously, when it was only a very occasional experience.   Most of the time I have been on the receiving end.  I guess because of my love of regular discipline I have become more inured to the physical side of being spanked such that I now like to receive pretty firm chastisement.  However, I also find that there are some times when I want something a little less intense and more playful, whilst at other times I crave very strict and hard discipline.  This brings me to something that I personally feel is most important in the world of adult spanking.

In the same way that individual people like me vary on different occasions as to the intensity we need, so is there a wide variation between different people.  From what those in the vanilla world who are highly critical say about adult CP, BDSM etc you would think that adult spanking is just about physical pain.  It is unfortunate that you do see from time to time on Twitter and blogs comments that simply seem to focus on how hard someone can spank or who can take the most intense punishment. These sorts of observations only serve to give our kink a bad press.  For me the world of spanking is absolutely not about some sort of macho competition

Of course spanking involves temporary pain but more than that it is about the accompanying play, the context and the psychology that is involved in my opinion.  And it is about the understanding that develops between a disciplinarian and recipient in the punishment scenarios in which we involve ourselves. These aspects go far deeper than the transient physical pain.  And so the intensity of the physical stinging and smarting from a spanking can be and is quite different for different people in order to reach the same sort of headspace that many of us crave in play.   A light hand spanking with lots of scolding could be just what one spankee requires, while someone else may need a severe bare bottom caning with a dragon cane after an extended hand and hairbrush spanking. I love that there is this variation and it makes me feel confident that adult spanking is a most wonderful world to inhabit.

A disciplinarian’s aim should not be to beat someone as hard as possible every time but very much focused on a spankee’s needs and the right level of intensity with a full respect for limits.  The subtle part of this is when a disciplinarian is experienced enough to know and sense when to push a spankee’s limits a little to introduce an element of challenge in a skilful controlled way.  It is this that the nub of the difference between a macho competition and personal discipline challenges and pushing limits.  How well the latter aspects are handled is lovely to see in the skills of experienced disciplinarians, where they develop a very finely tuned and keen sense of how a punishee is doing and managing their receipt of punishment.

Quality websites like Well Smacked Seat and Dreams of Spanking  often demonstrate these subtleties very well. They also depict spanking scenarios of different levels of intensity.  They are very much about storylines and contexts and not just the physical chastisements themselves. There are three scenes from Girl Next Door Productions films on wellsmackedseat.com that exemplify some of the above points really beautifully for me. They are three caning scenes. The first is the last clip of the film Behavioural Issues, which features Amy Carter as a strict 1950s step mum to naughty grown up step daughter Jane played by Pandora Blake and Jennifer her American friend played by Sarah Gregory.  In this ending to this amazing film, Jane and Jennifer are both to receive twelve from the cane.  Jane having received her first six in an earlier clip, Jennifer bends over for hers, alternately given over and without knickers. It is clearly quite a stingy experience and Jennifer is quite tearful by the end.  The part that illustrates my point comes right at the end when Jennifer bursts into tears and says she really cannot take another six.  I sense that this was out of role a little and lovely Sarah on this particular occasion really didn’t need more stroke.  Amy Carter picks up on this so professionally and relents on delivering a final six.  The scene short that ensues where strict mum comforts poor Jennifer is one of the most endearing I have ever seen in a spanking film.

The second clip features slim and dark Lola (@lolanisbs – Twitter) as Miss Williams the Bellington art teacher and Miss Svenson in the very intense first clip of The Art Teacher.  After some strapping on the palms, poor Miss Williams is to receive a cold caning.  The scene that follows looks and is intense.  The strokes from Miss Svenson are most punishing.  But if you watch closely, whilst Miss Svenson maintains a very strict demeanour, she also gives Miss Williams a long time to recover between strokes and is continually checking on her physical well-being by inspecting her bottom carefully.  Miss Svenson also decides to stay the punishment at six strokes rather than nine and offers advice on relaxing the cheeks to help Miss Williams accept and receive her just punishment. A great strict scene very well played by both participants

The last little clip is from a very recent film Cigarettes and a Bottle of Gin. It’s the last clip of the series where Miss Svenson canes all three of the naughty young ladies who have set up a little clandestine tobacco and alcohol business.  Gorgeous Cathrine is one of the three but is new to be caned. While Miss Svenson is very clear that Cathrine must take her full twelve strokes, it is so beautiful to see how she helps Cathrine through.  She encourages her to relax and gives little helpful advice to sooth her nerves to help Cathrine through.  I can’t help noticing too that Miss Svenson lessens the power of a number of her strokes significantly in recognition of Cathrine’s level of experience and the newness of caning for her.  Caring discipline is very well illustrated her.  Watch out for the young ladies lovely group hug at the very end by the way.  Another very enjoyable and well filmed clip. The young ladies receive their punishments so very well. I’d love to hear about any of your thoughts about levels and intensities, and the subtle relationship between tops and subs.  Do leave a comment if you fancy it.

Mr London